Author: Thianna Durston
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Length: 39 Pages
Category: Holiday Romance, Contemporary, Humor
At a Glance: If you have an hour to kill, and your goal is to read a fun Christmas story that is going to make you smile—not to mention needing to know about the penis lights!—then I think you’ll be happy with this one.
Reviewed By: Jules
Blurb: Former US Marine John Ving hates everything about holiday displays: they’re tacky, they waste energy, and they’re an eyesore. So what does his new neighbor do? He sets up the holiday spectacle from hell, and he doesn’t seem to care which holiday—he has a menorah, a baby Jesus, a Santa, and everything in between. Not to mention it’s swathed in enough lights his house is probably visible from space.
High-school teacher Kaden Melling loves the holidays, and huge light displays on his lawn make his heart glow. He’d love to share some cheer—and maybe some kinky fun—with his smoking hot neighbor John. Odd things start to happen to his displays, but just as he begins to think life is going his way, with the holidays and with John, a Grinch destroys everything.
It’s gonna take the display-hating John to set things right—and what he has planned might blow Kaden’s mind.
Review: I’m not gonna even lie…I picked this one because I, like many others, I’m sure, HAD to know what was going to happen in a story titled Of Mooning Santas and Penis Lights. Anyone who says they chose it for any other reason is lying. Ha! I didn’t choose it just for the title, though; I was also intrigued by the blurb, which, in hindsight, I have to say was brilliantly written.
John is exasperated with his neighbor, whose over-the-top holiday zeal only adds to John’s irritation over the housing board’s decision that everyone in the neighborhood must decorate for the season. In John’s opinion, Kaden’s extreme display is an eyesore, not to mention a ridiculous draw on the power grid. John is intent on only putting up one sad string of lights, until he loses a game of Go Fish to his nephew, and must grant his request to attempt to out-decorate the neighbor.
Kaden has loads of sparkle and holiday spirit. Despite this shortcoming, John can’t help but find him attractive. And, when Kaden gives cookies to John’s nephews, helps them decorate, and invites John over for dinner, John finds it difficult to resist his charms. While John is getting to know Kaden better, he learns that Kaden’s mom passed away just over six months ago, and that Kaden keeps the extravagant decorating and baking traditions going for her. Well, AND because he loves doing it.
I really only had one chief complaint about the storyline, and that is that we were left hanging on the random, malicious mischief that took place with the blow-ups in Kaden’s lawn, and then subsequent robbery of almost all of his outdoor holiday decorations. It was strange that it was never discussed further or explained. Were we to think that the vandalism and then robbery were related? Why was Kaden targeted? I guess we’ll never know.
Aside from that, however, I found the story to be pretty darn cute. And, funny. Here’s a bit that just screamed to be highlighted:
John shrugged but smiled. “I had to put the smile back on your face. You should always smile.”
“Why?” Kaden asked even as he was flattered by the words. He’s always felt his smile was a bit too childish.
“It’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.” John paused and took another drink of cocoa. “And I keep imagining it around my dick.”
Imagine me going from ‘Awwwwwww…’ after “It’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen” to almost spitting out my water after that last line. There were a few little moments like that where I had to fight back a chuckle.
The author utilized her thirty-nine pages quite well. She did a nice job with setting things up, and we learn enough about what makes the guys tick to get us engaged with their characters and make us care about what happens. Sure there were a couple of things that could have been covered in more depth, but overall it felt complete. If you have an hour to kill, and your goal is to read a fun Christmas story that is going to make you smile—not to mention needing to know about the penis lights!—then I think you’ll be happy with this one.
You can buy Of Mooning Santas and Penis Lights here: