We’re so pleased to welcome author J.A. Rock and the Pain Slut tour to The Novel Approach today. Enjoy J.A.’s guest post and be sure to check out the giveaway she has in store for you!

Hi! I’m J.A. Rock, and right now I’m touring the internet talking about my latest release Pain Slut—Book 2 in The Subs Club series. Thanks so much to the blogs that are hosting me on this tour, and be sure to leave comments on the tour posts for a chance to win your choice of two backlist ebooks and a $10 Amazon gift card!

Sex Versus BDSM

So one of the things that’s interesting to me, both in fiction and in life, is the distinction people draw between sex and BDSM activities. In real life, plenty of BDSM-ers describe their play as nonsexual. And I absolutely do think there’s such a thing as nonsexual play. But a lot of scenes that people call nonsexual (i.e.—I spanked him/her, but we didn’t have sex) strike me as at least somewhat erotic in nature. Maybe that’s partly because I use a broad definition for “sex”—I hate, hate, hate defining sex as penetration. Sex is defined by Merriam-Webster as “physical activity in which people touch each other’s bodies, kiss each other, etc.”—which is a broader definition than society normally affords the word. I believe there are lots of ways to have sex, and to me, activities that provide an intense psychological release are just as valid sexual experiences as activities that result in orgasm.

I take a similar view of kink in romance novels. I often think of kink scenes as “sex scenes,” even if there’s no penetration and nobody orgasms. It depends on the characters and how they define sex for themselves, of course. But, for instance, I’ve had a couple of friends comment on The Subs Club’s relative lack of sex compared to some of my other books. Which strikes me as funny, since I feel like there’s so much sex in TSC—because there are a lot of discipline scenes.

For Dave in The Subs Club, discipline is sexual. He doesn’t always literally get off on it, but it turns him on and gives him a huge emotional release. A mind-gasm, if you will. Even the activities he’s not a huge fan of, like enemas, are still working for him on an emotional level, because it turns him on to have to endure something he doesn’t like—in a Kinkception-y way. Discipline is highly erotic for him, it’s just not red-silk-ribbons-and-earth-shattering orgasms erotic.

Miles in Pain Slut has more penetrative sex than Dave, but to him, getting punched or cut or stapled is every bit as hot as being bent over the bathroom sink and fucked. Sex, throughout the Subs Club series, is defined by intimacy and emotional pleasure rather than the act itself. So the books either have a ton of sex or almost none, depending on how you look at it. I like to think that our culture is slowly shifting its definition of sex to encompass “nontraditional” activities. As a writer and reader, I try to promote the idea that characters define sex and eroticism for themselves—it’s not our job as readers to impose our definition of sex or “sexy” onto them.

It does get complicated, though. Miles plays with two partners in Pain Slut, both of whom do things that get him off. While Miles would probably consider himself monogamous with Drix, using a broader definition of sex, Miles technically has sex with Bowser too. So what it comes down to is how Miles feels emotionally about what he’s doing. Bowser gives Miles the physical sensations that go along with sex, but Miles doesn’t have the same emotional connection with Bowser that he has with Drix. So Miles is able to consider his scenes with Bowser relatively nonsexual, while he scenes with Drix are definitely sexual.

Ultimately, how we define sex, or how we view our own kinks, is highly personal. And it’s interesting to think that while so much dialogue around romance novels concerns sexual content—how much, what kind, how long do we have to wait before the characters do it—it’s all a matter of perception.

About Pain Slut: Honestly, I’m ready to take a step back from the Subs Club. Making the kink world a safer place for subs is the sort of bandwagon I’d have boarded as an idealist in my early twenties, but now I’m a pragmatist in my late twenties. I prefer to focus on adopting and raising a child.

But unexpected factors inevitably derail my plans. Like Drix Seger—attractive and the first genuine sadist I’ve encountered. If I were not in the process of renouncing my masochistic ways and becoming the normal, responsible potential father the adoption agency wants to see, Drix and I might do well together. But he has a foolish name and belongs to a cult of vampyres, and I am quitting kink. So why does Drix’s infatuation with blood and biting make me so hot I can’t think straight? And why, when he looks at me, does he seem to see something beyond a basket case with a stick up my ass?

Can I start a new phase in my life without leaving part of myself behind? Please send help.

—Miles

Purchase Link: Riptide Publishing

About the Subs Club series: After the death of their friend Hal at the hands of an irresponsible dom, submissive friends Dave, Kamen, Miles, and Gould band together to form the Subs Club—an organization seeking to expose dangerous local doms. The club slowly evolves as romances blossom, loyalties are tested, and tensions mount in a community already struggling for unity in the wake of Hal’s death.

From domestic discipline to knife play to fashion paraphilia, and from family drama to new jobs to first loves, the members of the Subs Club explore life’s kinks inside and outside of the bedroom as they attempt to let go of the past and move forward.

Find out more information about the series at: Riptide Publishing

About the Author: J.A. Rock is the author of queer romance and suspense novels, including BY HIS RULES, TAKE THE LONG WAY HOME, and, with Lisa Henry, THE GOOD BOY and WHEN ALL THE WORLD SLEEPS. She holds an MFA in creative writing from the University of Alabama and a BA in theater from Case Western Reserve University. J.A. also writes queer fiction and essays under the name Jill Smith. Raised in Ohio and West Virginia, she now lives in Chicago with her dog, Professor Anne Studebaker.

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Giveaway

Leave a comment for a chance to win your choice of two backlist titles from J.A. Rock and a $10 Amazon gift card. Entries close at midnight, Eastern time, on February 6, 2016. Contest is NOT restricted to U.S. Entries. Thanks for following the tour, and don’t forget to leave your contact info!